June 26, 2000

My best friend, Jade, was driving my car because it was her turn to be designated driver.  Actually, it was mine but we had switched because she wanted to drink the night before.  We were too young to drink, but at least we were smart about it.  Around 1am, the 5 occupants of my car decided to go to "Rollercoaster Hill."  We were in a small town and that was really the only thing to do.  It was a very steep hill.  The rules were that you drove up the least steep of the two sides and down the steeper side.  It felt like a rollercoaster.  I told Jade she could go 30mph up that hill and then decided it was too fast and told her to slow down to 15mph.  She cooperated.  As we reached the crest of the hill, a 2 door Chevy Blazer came flying over the other side at around 70mph.  They became airborne and landed on the front of my car.

I don't remember the sound of our vehicles colliding and meshing into one.  I don't remember feeling my bones break or anyone screaming.  I just remember gasping as I saw the front of the Blazer.  Their headlights were off.

I'm sure I lost consciousness for a bit, but I can't be sure.  At some point, someone asked me if I was ok.  I told them I was, even though it should have been clear to them that I wasn't.  I was blood soaked and very obviously seriously injured.  Whoever asked me if I was ok quickly disappeared.  I put my hand on my forehead.  I can't describe what I felt without feeling sick, or without making anyone reading this sick.  I'm just glad that at the time, my brain didn't process it and I thought it was only a small cut.  I remember thinking that I was going to be in a lot of trouble for letting someone else drive my car.

The guy who was sitting in the middle of my back seat, right next to me, began climbing out the rear windshield.  I tried to get him to stay in the car, but he wouldn't listen.  I climbed out after him, trying to reason with him.  I didn't realize then that he had broken every bone in his face and wasn't thinking clearly.  I collapsed next to the car because my leg would not hold me up.  The shock prevented me from feeling pain so I didn't know my leg was broken.  I didn't know my hand and wrist were broken either.

I landed on my hands and knees when I collapsed.  I looked up at Jade.  She was smiling, but she wasn't moving.  I rolled over and blacked out.

At about 4am, the police finally showed up.  We were on an Indian Reservation and when they got the call that there was a wreck, they didn't think it was a big deal so they didn't show up for 2 hours.  It ended up being the worst wreck the law enforcement officers had seen and they had seen some doozies.  "Rollercoaster Hill" was in the middle of nowhere so when the townsfolk started showing up to see what happened, the law couldn't turn them away.  They needed the light from their headlights.  I don't know how long it took from the time they showed up until I got loaded into an ambulance.  I do know that they wanted to put me on a helicopter and I yelled at them and refused.  Medical helicopters are for critically injured people.  I was not going to die so I didn't need it.

I was hours away from home.  My Mom didn't know if I was alive or dead or where I was.  She knew which direction I was in, but not the town or anything.  Her friend picked her up and they started driving.  Eventually, they found me.  I had a broken femur, broken wrist, multiple broken hand bones, and was half scalped.  In the end, I had about 65 staples in my thigh from where they put a titanium rod in my femur, and over 200 stitches in my body.  Half of those were in my forehead.  And Jade was dead.

The driver of the Blazer was drunk, but thanks to sketchy law enforcement, his blood test was changed and he was never charged.  I fought hard to recover.  I wanted to give up many times, but I was young and knew I had a long life ahead of me and wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.  So, I did the physical and occupational therapies.  I gave it everything I had.  I did as much on my own as possible.  The anger I had at not being able to do some things for myself gave me the drive to keep going.  I made it.  I can walk.  I can run.

The memories can make me cry if I let them.  Emergency sirens and helicopters still make my heart race from time to time, but I'm alive.  The drunk driver may have gotten away, but I won because I still get to wake up everyday.  I got to have a baby and now I get to watch her grow up.  I have had thousands of wonderful experiences in the 12 years since I almost died.  The drunk driver can't take that from me.  So, even though it really sucks that I had to go through this and I will always have the memories, I'm happy because I survived.