I put on the medium strength nicotine patch today in a desperate attempt to get some relief from this nicotine withdrawal crap. It's been hell. Within minutes of putting on the patch, I felt great. I felt like me again. It was awesome! Fast forward a couple hours and I was shaky, queasy, and could barely sit up. I ripped the patch off because I feared that I would pass out at my desk and that would lead to a series of events that would probably be hilarious...to everyone but me. This is what would happen:
I'd fall out of my chair. As I was falling, the chair would roll away and I would smash my face on the desk, wall, and floor. If I was lucky, Michael would be interested enough by the sounds of my body hitting things to look over the cubicle wall. In this case, he would shriek like a girl and probably pass out himself. At this point, we have to hope that Troy is in his office and not out and about. He would surely be able to keep his composure enough to call the First Responders. These trained medical people would come rushing in with their medical things and possibly the defibrillator. I would come to as they got my vitals and waited for the ambulance while laughing at my unconscious gaseous expulsions. I would look over and see Michael passed out and laugh myself into hysteria. After all this, I would have to run away and never come back.
Shoot. Maybe I shouldn't have taken off that patch. I would find this funny.
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